dear God,
a confession.
some folks and the Bible tell me that heaven is where we will take our given place and sing Your praises for all of eternity. forgive me because until today, that was the most boring thing i have ever heard. especially for heaven.
hear me out...this what i used to think: seriously? singing? forever? lame. we, i, work and strive to live the life You have set before us and our reward (for lack of a better word) is singing? seriously?
i can't even sing. it is actually pretty horrible. ask anyone who has to ride with me in the car. or anyone who is within a five-mile radius of me when michael jackson comes on the radio. i don't even like to hear myself sing. and that's what i get to do for eternity? seriously?
but today, a revelation happened. if you can call it that...maybe more like me getting over myself and out of my own way so that i can see how truly awesome/amazing/loving/wonderful You are and how awesome heaven will be. even with all that singing. BECAUSE of all that singing.
revelation story: i'm driving home. long day at work. really long. and there's homework waiting for me at the house. and grey's anatomy, of course (don't judge me. well ok, since its You, God, i guess You can) i'm trying to find the perfect song on the ipod. to sing at the top of my lungs. because really, even those of us that can't sing, love love love to belt it out going down the highway. to forget our troubles by becoming our own one man rockband. but because i can't maneuver that little ipod click wheel very well while i'm driving (i know, i know. bad idea. i'm a good driver, promise) i keep clicking on the same song. over and over. so i give in and let it play. (here comes the shameless plug for phil wickham, whose music i adore) heaven song is playing and i start singing at the top of my lungs. i'm immediately swept into that worshipful place and i get lost in Your praises. i feel Your overwhelming love radiate through me. tingling through my fingertips and guiding my way home. a solid moment of pure joy. peace. a glimpse of what heaven must be...
and in that moment, i realize how lame i am. lame to doubt You, to doubt what You have planned for me. for i cannot sing but i love to, loudly. that the sound of my singing is pretty much offensive but You want/desire to hear it. that i find joy and peace in letting go of my troubles through singing "little red corvette" obnoxiously out the window of my, thankfully, earless explorer. that i am at my happiest when Your Holy Spirit catches ahold of me and i can feel nothing but Your embrace of love. that when i'm singing Your praises, Your Holy Spirit grips me the tightest. so tight that i can barely breathe. and all i know in those moments are You.
how incredibly lucky i will be to get to heaven and take my place in Your choir.
I. CAN. NOT. FREAKING. WAIT!
thank you. thank you.
love,
lindsay
Heaven Song: Phil Wickham
http://philwickham.com
You wrote a letter and You signed Your name
Em D/F# G C
I read ever word Read it page by page
Em
You said that You'd be coming
D/F# G
Coming for me soon
Em D/F# C G
Oh my God I'll be ready for You
Chorus:
C G
('Cause) I want to run on greener pastures
D Em
I want to dance on higher hills
C G
I want to drink from sweeter waters
D Em
In the misty morning chill
C G
And my soul is getting restless
D Em
For the place where I belong
C G D
I can't wait to join the angels and sing my heaven song
Verse 2:
Em D/F# G
I hear Your voice and I catch my breath
Em D/F# G C
Well done my child enter in, and rest
Em D/F# G
As tears of joy roll down my cheek
Em D/F# C G
Oh it's beautiful beyond my wildest dreams
Chorus x2
