Awareness is a bitch.

I don't have a heart for homeless ministry.

But I cannot stop thinking about the homeless.

I've worked soup kitchens. In college, I helped organize homeless awareness weeks. I have slept in fundraising, cardboard box shanty towns on at least 8 different occasions. I keep water bottles in my car in the summer to give to the homeless. I have taken sociology classes directly focused on the homeless. Yet, I have never given a piece of my heart to the homeless ministry.

I'm not sure why. I knew all that I needed to know to be moved. I had all the awareness I needed to want action.

Maybe I just wasn't listening...
As this summer rolled around, something started stirring in my heart. I spent one day, just one, with a church that serves a homeless congregation. My heart hasn't let up since. All day long, I compare every step of my day to that of a homeless person. I have no idea what that feels like. I know what it looks like but no idea what it FEELS like.

Why have I never cared about this before? Why do I care now? Why do I need to know everything I can about what this life feels like? Why do I need to know about everything I can do outside of a soup kitchen or clothing closet? Why is this information so hard to come by?

Why do I feel like I'm the only one who is asking these questions?

There are so many misconceptions, generalizations, and poor attitudes directed at the homeless. Where are the real life stories? The real life questions? These people have become the vanishing marginalized. No one wants to talk about the homeless. No one wants to put a name to a homeless face. No one wants to know the story.

I don't want to be that person anymore.